Reach for what's there
by Suffering Angel
Summary: When you're sinking, who'd be there to hold your hand?


I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

_**Reach for what's there**_

It wasn't the first time he dreamed he was drowning. To the teen aged not even sixteen, the experience was far too familiar for comfort .They came in odd varieties, the dreams, and ranged from ones that resembled floating on clouds, through the somewhat realistic experience of diving, to being in the deepest depths of the ocean, crushed by tons upon tons of water from all sides. Unable to breathe, unable to think, and incapable of even screaming it out, only stare at the precious air bubbles escape upwards and away from him. He had gotten used to waking up covered in cold sweat, grasping at the sheets, eyes glazed over as the stared unseeingly at the ceiling above. It would register then that way was up, and his descent came to a stop with his back pressing against the mattress. Relief, and comfort – precious fleeing blessings until the following night.  
Such nights, he wasn't only used to – he longed for. The nights where all he had to worry about was the lack of air and the darkness he knew he'd wake from – relief, and comfort – glorious relief.

That wasn't one of those nights.

He never managed to reach the point where he thought about breathing. The need, so basic and trivial, was the last of his concerns. All he had to do to achieve that was to reach the surface, after all. Reach above water, far, high above him where the light was brightest. That was all he had to do – and everything he couldn't. Not when he heard his name uttered in a broken murmur, twisted, deformed by so many incoherent voices, spoken to him by mouths, faceless mouths that swam about as fish would. Calling, begging, accusing… leaving him to struggle in a sea of arms, reaching for him, grabbing at him, wrapping around him like a herd of eels, pulling him down. He thrashed, flailed, struggled his hardest. He managed to reach higher, only to be pulled further down than before every single time. Not one to give up when the goal was in reach, he reached out his hand, gritting his teeth as he pushed forward – upwards, one last time. He could see the light so close, so welcoming, to the point his hand's reflection on the surface almost seemed like it was reaching back out to him. He could almost feel it, the brush of fingertips against his own, could almost grab hold… hold on… reach up for that face that appeared, smiling down at him as it moved to pull him up.

It never managed to do so. No sooner did it reach that hand did its familiar, distorted face twisted into a frown as more of the eels rose up, wrapping around the boy until he was all but out of sight. All that remained visible were his eyes, clear blue eyes filled with nothing but terror and panic. The reflected figure shouted out, calling out his name as he was taken back into the dark depths, away rom the light, away from the familiarity – away from hope. He let out his own voice, shouting out his frustration and fight into the heavy liquid. He didn't want to be pulled into the Darkness –

-_So-_

He didn't want to be crushed-

-_-ora-_

He didn't want to get lost in the abyss, was that so much to ask for?!

_-Sor—_

He refused to listen. No matter how familiar this voice sounded, how comforting hearing it was. The hold around him tightened, the pressure focusing around his shoulders and waists. All he could do in return was squirm and thrash. He didn't care how the figure that kept calling out to him, how it kept holding him, how he realized how he actually did know this person. He still didn't – couldn't care. He'd get him to let go – regardless of anything. He tried ducking every which way he could, he struggled against the hold. He rolled about, only to realize oddly enough that he came to a stop as he leaned backwards. The growl he was rewarded with served as more than enough of an incentive for him to turn his attention to the arm wrapped around his chest. Without much thought, he dove forward, eyes shut tightly as he bit down as hard as he could – and that was when things stopped making sense.

What his mouth came into contact with was warm and firm, unlike the eels. The sound that reached his ears – familiar and pained – was lucid and clear, unlike anything any fish-mouth ever said to him. And the Darkness that surrounded him, more so than the cause of anything around him – was due to his own closed eyes, eyes he slowly, carefully cracked open, one at a time. He was in his room, he realized from a quick look around, the surroundings evident enough even in the dim moonlight that seeped through the window. He himself was on his bed still, judging by the mattress he was partially on and the thrown about sheets and blankets. And the warmth he was still biting into, and apparently was holding onto with both hands to the point his nails were digging into skin? That, apparently, was an arm, he realized as he pulled his teeth back, only to frown at the mark he left behind – one visible even in that darkness they were both in. That looked painful, he concluded, only to gasp loudly a moment later as he realized there was, apparently, a face burying into his hair.

"Finally decided to wake up, huh." The familiar voice uttered, tainted with relief and more than a bit of exhaustion. "Really… for someone having a nightmare, you sure are hard to wake up."

It wasn't the first time he dreamed he was drowning. Falling into the Darkness, being crushed by the pressure, being pulled away from hope… he had gotten too used to it for comfort. Thankfully, it was also not the first time he woke up – or, was woken up – to find someone there, someone to worry about him – someone who cared. And it was always, always the very same person.

"Riku…" He uttered, not daring to move on his own as he was shifted to curl up over his best friend's form. It felt warm like that, safe, secure… comforting… he almost couldn't believe this was really happening.

"Sh." The older teen requested softly as he brought a hand to bury in brown spikes. "It's alright now, Sora."

The brunette pursed his lips as he crept closer, hands reaching to hold onto the other's shirt. "Is it, really?" He couldn't help but ask, his already small voice all but disappearing against Riku's chest. The dreams on all their variations, the slipping away from light… the resulting lack of sleep, the gnawing sensations in the pit of his stomach… the fact that every night it got that bad, Riku would dash from the other end of the island, just to be by his side… How could it be alright?

"It is." Riku replied, making Sora let out a small disgruntled voice.

"Even with this happening all the time?" He whispered, voice weighted down by guilt and regret. What he received back for it was a chuckle.

"Sora, you're just a human being." Riku replied easily enough and even without looking up, Sora knew he was shaking his head. "I'd have been worried if you'd have kept acting like nothing ever happened."

Human. That was an odd way of putting it, Sora concluded and struggled to put the proper meaning to the word. It could mean someone proud, and strong, and reliable, and bright, and it could mean someone shameful, and foolish, and weak, and small. Both meanings added up with the word – and the both of them, Sora let himself realize as he glanced up a bit at Riku's face, and he found himself awed. This wasn't part of the dream anymore, was it? He really was awake and disoriented and out of shape, and – not alone.

And wasn't that just why it _was_ alright? To know that he'd always wake up, to know it would always end, to know there was a bottom – and even if there wasn't, to know that even if he couldn't wake up on his own – wasn't that why he even reached into the Darkness to begin with? Let himself by tainted by it? That endless abyss that lacked any and all light… wasn't Riku every bit as deep in it as he was? Wasn't Riku still there, waiting for him to sink as low?

At the very least, he kept dashing from the other end of the island, just to be by Sora's side. Wasn't that everything that made it alright? And didn't it mean that being supported like this – being _human_ like this – wasn't as sinful as he liked to think it was?

Feeling oddly at ease, he let himself relax finally. "Will you be here for long?" The past times, Riku never stayed until morning. Would this time be any different, Sora wondered.

"Silly." Came the reply then which initially made Sora frown – until Riku continued, that is. "If I wouldn't, who'd look after you in your dreams?"

And at that rather honest notion – Sora couldn't help but laugh. "That sounded so corny, Riku!"

The elder teen growled lightly as he pulled the blanket over Sora's head. "Fine, fine. Go back to sleep already."

Sora snickered one last time before he curled up comfortably on his new mattress. "I will… because you're here."

"…now who's being corny?" Riku hissed back, but Sora didn't really mind. Feeling reassured and supported, he was soon enough back asleep and sinking quickly into the same familiar black depths. He managed to smile up at the radiant figure above on the surface who was reaching even more frantically now, as he let himself sink deeper into the Darkness, away from all the promise the surface above – and the figure there – had to offer him. He sank in relative silence, the fish all around keeping their mouths shut, the eels – their hands to themselves. He continued on downward and even before the glowing figure was out of his sight, Sora turned to look down and let his smile widen. It was empty and hollow and barren and lonely, and in the middle of it all was Riku, sinking just like him, teal eyes bright as he looked back up at Sora. Sora's hand reached out for him and he reached back, and Sora couldn't help that happy grin as unlike with the one above – he managed to take hold of the other's hand, fingers interlacing as he pulled closer to him.

The Darkness had gotten to him too, but maybe it wasn't so bad if he even _became_ the Darkness – so long as he wasn't alone doing it. And that wouldn't change, he knew, even if Riku wasn't there again in the next morning. Sora simply clenched his hand against his chest with a knowing smile that he'd be there to hold his hand once the stars would again be shining.

* * *

A/N: Let yourselves decide who that other person was :P


End file.
